The Fate Of The Furious

The Immortal Franchise

Posted in Movie Reviews on April 14, 2017
Prod 54

Gary Gray

Running Time
136 min

When a mysterious woman seduces Dom into the world of terrorism and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew face trials that will test them as never before.

The next Fast & Furious movie could take place in the ocean, space, or on Mars and nobody would even bat an eye, because this franchise is one that numbed its suspension of disbelief to the point that its movies resemble more of amusement park than an actual movie. From wrecking balls and airplanes to zombie cars and giant submarines, Fast & Furious indulges in destruction porn with our gang of frustrated employment-seeking cast of Hollywood actors (except the Rock who's probably been paid too much money for his role) in an enigma of a story.

I don’t mean that in a good way where a movie’s plot is fascinatingly complex, but in a frustrating way that makes it impossible for any audience to immerse buy into the story from any angle. From the typical ‘he’s gone rogue’ to ‘oh wait he might have a plan’, reeling back to ‘he’s so evil’ and ‘oh wait he had a master plan all along’, the story shoehorns the gang and expendable guest actors into overpriced cars and over the top action scenes; only to end the film with the usual happily ever after family meal. Forget having wreaked havoc to all of New York or the geopolitical implications in stealing from the German government, between the level of jacked muscles and cheesy one liners, the Toretto gang can handle anything thrown at them.

Of course the movie wouldn’t be the same without its stellar cast. With Vin Diesel coming hot off his Oscar worthy performance in the xXx reboot, he comes back showing just how awesome his acting skills are by being…well, Vin Diesel. Alongside him are his group of sidekicks, from the whining Tyrese Gibson and the tech-savy Ludicrous spewing out computer programming language like he used to work for Anonymous, to the Rock and Jason Statham playing the Rock and Jason Statham. We have a master-hacker of a villain whose motives are of accountability but no real indication of who she's holding accountable or for what. At least it’s nice to see that in a film with such devastating destruction and death toll of well in the hundreds, we have such a forgiving group of characters who are able to set aside all their bloodshed and say grace by the end of the movie.

And yet there is always the argument that “you’re not supposed to take it seriously, it’s movie that knows it’s cheesy and embraces it”. Surely all the turbo engine cars and explosions can be a blast, but you can’t just throw $250 million at a movie and expect it to be good. Eventually the sandbag henchmen and special effects start to wear off and the exchange of zingers between characters in-between fails to sustain any momentum.

There’s not much to say about this film: it’s a migraine at ticket price and anesthetizing when inebriated. There is no doubt that we will see more Fast & Furious movies, I’m just interested in seeing where they’ll take us for Fast & Furious 16.

In Summary

The Good
  • Impressive Muscle Aesthetics
  • Pretty Cars & Explosions
The Bad
  • Sandbag Acting
  • Fast but Mostly Furious Storytelling
  • No Accountability